twins.

TWINS!! Twins arrived at Beautiful Gate last night! Me and Mercy were sitting on the front porch watching the sunset and talking about heaven when the social worker came and told us about their arrival. The twins are about 2 months old but still only around 4 pounds. They are so tiny!! I heard they were premature, and since they are so small only a few of the house mothers are allowed to hold them at this point. For the past couple weeks we kept hearing that they were coming but it kept getting pushed off. The nurses at the hospital have been on strike lately the twins were not getting cared for properly. When we found this out our social worker and nurse worked to get them out of there as soon as possible. I am so thankful that they ended up here at Beautiful Gate! After just talking to Mercy about heaven and then getting to meet the twins, I was so excited for heaven where there are no malnourished children. Please pray that they GROW and get to a healthy weight soon!

This past week was very bittersweet for me. November 14 is the date I would have gotten home had I not extended. I do not regret extending my stay, it just was strange to think, "I could be home with my family and friends right now." On the 14th I was sitting with "my boy" on my lap trying to imagine saying goodbye to him. It just reminded me that my time here is not about me or what I do, but rather about loving Christ and loving these kids. This week has also made me very excited for the next 4 months. Its 4 more months of holding babies (rough, I know). 4 more months of hospital runs. 4 more months of beautiful African singing. 4 more months of adoptions. 4 more months of being called, "Ausi Paigie."  4 more months of waking up on weekends to the sound of laughing and screaming children. 4 more months of pure joy that only comes from the Lord. 4 more months being in awe of the Father.

Hey. Thanksgiving is this week. WHO KNEW? Not me. It honestly does not feel like the holiday season at all here. The weather here is very very warm which makes it very hard to want to wear ugly Christmas sweaters and all that jazz to get in the holiday spirit. This Thanksgiving will be a special one I think. I am excited. I will have to tell you about how it goes next week!

Sorry for the short update this week.


peace and love.

PS. CONGRATS to my little brother who made the Freshman basketball team this week!

winter?

I have been to the hospital 3 times in the last week. That is probably a new record. No, I was not the one getting treated but rather I was taking kids in to see the doctor. I have been going more and more lately and the last two times I went were very interesting experiences so I am just going to tell you about those a little.

Last Thursday around 10AM the nurse found me and asked if I could go to the hospital with my house mother and a couple kids right away. Shortly after I agreed my house mother got a phone call that her daughter at home was sick and not doing well. We had not yet left for the hospital and she was torn on what to do since technically since the other house mother is gone she can't leave. After about a half hour of discussing and trying to figure out scheduling stuff my house mother went home to take care of her daughter and I ended up going to the hospital with Beautiful Gate's nurse instead. We had two kids that were just very sick and needed some medicine. The boy I was holding was in terrible shape. I have honestly never seen a kid so sick. He smelled like a dead animal (not even kidding) and just laid on my chest nearly the whole day. In the car I kept my hand on his chest to be sure I could still feel him breathing, that is how sick he was. He is also HIV positive so his immune system was just having a really hard time fighting off the sickness. In America, this boy probably would have stayed overnight in the hospital for a few days. But, In Lesotho they have so many sick people from HIV/AIDS that they don't have room to offer that option to everybody. We were able to leave with some medicine for him which is good. Today (Monday) I went to go check on him in his bed and when he saw me he smiled at me. It seems he is on the right track to get better which is very encouraging since he has been staying in bed all day for over a week now. I was talking to the nurse and she said that if he did not have the proper medication and care he could have very easily died from the flu he caught just because he was HIV positive. That still just shocks me. That a child could die from the flu because maybe his mother could afford the medicine for the child or the transportation to get him to the hospital. I don't think I will ever take for granted the wonderful doctors and facilities we have in the US again. Please pray for this boy to be able to return to full health soon

Today I met Beautiful Gate's nurse at the hospital with the oldest boy at Beautiful Gate. He has been placed to be adopted along with his brother and now they are just waiting to be picked up. When you ask either one of them about their new home they get so excited they can hardly contain themselves! Its rather adorable. It was just me and him today so I spoiled him a bit with some snacks and I brought a notebook and markers for him to color with. When I took out the notebook he immediately started writing and drawing. First, he wrote the numbers 0-10, and then he wrote his name, then he drew a snake. He surprised me when he gave me the paper and pen and asked me to draw and mother and a father and a baby. I took the paper and drew some pretty sad looking stick people. He then excitedly said, "Now a brother and a sister!!" After I had finished I showed him and he put fists in the air and yelled, "YES!" That moment stuck with me through the rest of my day. That was what a family was supposed to look like in that boy's head. A mother, father, brother, and sister. I was so excited for him and that he would get a mom and dad very soon and seeing his enthusiasm made my heart melt. It also made me think of how rare it is in Lesotho to have both of your parents and all of your siblings alive due to HIV/AIDS. I am not going to spit out statistics at you because it is depressing and until you see the faces of these people and children it won't really become real. The place I have been seeing the Lord the most lately is through these adoptions and the hope and joy that go along with that. Every adoption ceremony I witness is like a little bit of heaven in a world filled with chaos.

Friday night there was a CRAZY hail storm. It only lasted about 15 minutes, but after those 15 minutes it looked like a Michigan winter out my window. The hail was so loud on my metal roof that I could hardly hear myself think. Through my window I could see the Beautiful Gate kids watch the storm through their window. They watched with awe and laughter while I was pretty much freaking out in my house. After the storm there was water everywhere. Most of the campus with flooded with water. There was a little stream out my back door from the water that was draining in from the community. Thankfully there was no major damage. After the storm hit, Bryan came over to make sure I didn't have any flooding or anything. He mentioned that he wondered how many kids that were abandon yesterday and died from the pelting of the hail or from the cold. We decided that we just can't think about things like that but instead be thankful for the 55 kids the Lord brought here that have shelter over their heads and people loving them. When I skype people from home and talk about parents abandoning their children, they often just default into thinking that the Basotho are terrible people. So, I am going to try to help you understand their situations and the choices they are forced to make. ....Let's say you are a young mother. Your husband gave you HIV and he has recently passed away because of it. You recently found out that you are pregnant. You live in a 15ft by 15ft tin shack. You don't have running water or plumbing but sometimes you can get electricity if you have left over money. You have three children that are in school so you are able to work in the factories during the day. You walk two hours to and from the factory everyday since you can't afford to take a taxi. You know you can't work full time and raise a baby, but if you quit your job at the factory you have no income to raise and feed your soon to be 4 children. When this baby is born you have a choice to make. You can quit your job and starve your whole family so you can stay home and care for the baby. You can pull one of your kids out of school to care for the baby.  You can take your child to a care center but that means a lot of paperwork, complications, guilt trips, and taking time off of work. Or, you can abandon your baby and keep getting by like you are now. Can you even imagine having to make that choice? The Basotho aren't bad or mean people....they are just forced to make some nasty decisions. I hope this gives you at least a little bit more of an understanding.

out my back door

                 

                                                                   out my front door

I will leave you with these beautiful words of Jesus from John 16:33

"In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

"TAKE HEART" FRIENDS, JESUS HAS OVERCOME THE WORLD!!!!!!!!

peace and love.

blood and guts.

Well folks, the Lord has done an amazing thing in my life. He has soften my heart towards stitches. That's right...stitches....like the medical ones. I have never had stitches but I would cringe just thinking about them and look away and run when I saw someone with stitches (rude? maybe...). This week a boy from my house fell and got a pretty good gash in his forehead. It was bleeding pretty bad and the staff were a bit hesitant to jump in to help him because he is HIV positive. The started yelling for the nurse and she came running. She scooped him up and ran him to the clinic on site at BGate. While she was running she yells, "Paige! Come help me please!" So I followed her to the clinic thinking, "Like I am going to be any help...the only medical training I have had is a babysitters class through the Red Cross and that was like 6 years ago!" When I got to the clinic she handed off the boy to me and I just calmed him down while she got the stuff together to do stitches. The first thing I realized about this boy is that he was not crying. At all. He was a little shaken up and in a bit of a tizzy but he was not crying. He settled down pretty quick and I went in the other room to lay him on the bed so the nurse could put the stitches in. She asked me to hold him down while she put the stitches in. At this point I was probably in a worse mental state then this kid was. I am sitting there thinking, "I am going to pass out and this kid is going to be screaming....Lord please just miraculously heal this kid right now so I do not have to witness this!" As she started cleaning him up and began stitching him up I just kept talking trying to keep him (and myself) distracted. After the first stitch the nurse goes, "Paige, just look up! Its not that bad." So I did. And it really wasn't that bad. I even found it kind of interesting. I will tell you people, that was a work of the Lord. I have no doubt. Through THE WHOLE process of putting 3 stitches in, this kid just sat there. He didn't cry. He didn't move. He was just chillin...WHILE SOMEONE WAS SEWIN UP HIS HEAD!! Anther work of the Lord. That day he ended up pulling out all his stitches TWICE so the nurse had to put them in again TWICE. The nurse was not too happy with him.
....
And while I am on the subject of medical stuff I will tell you about my experience with boils. FUN FUN. The Australian volunteer nurse joked with me for a long time about how she was going to get me to help her with some "blood and guts!" So, one morning she caught me and said, "Hey Paige! We have a few kids with boils, would you like to help me pop them?" While my mouth said, "Sure!" my mind went, "NO NO NO NO NO NO RUN AWAY FAST!!" This nurse is quite the character and was going on and on about how she loved popping boils. Well, whatever floats your boat, I guess. I will not get into all the gory details but I will just say this: it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. In fact, I was pretty amazed with the human body and how a little bump could hold so much puss. The first one was successful but the second boy we looked has had a very deep boil and it had popped during school that day so it was already a mess. Again, I will resist getting into details but I walked away from that day pretty proud of myself for getting out of my comfort zone a bit and getting into some blood and guts!

Today are the elections. Sadly, I was not on top of it so I did not vote.  I will say that it is very nice not having to see the annoying adds or get the random phone calls telling you who to vote for. This past Sunday in church we had a time of prayer for the US elections. At first I was a little confused because we are in Lesotho so why should it matter? But, the rest of the world really does watch the US to be the example in a way. So, who we choose to be our leader says a lot about our country. I just pray that whoever wins the elections will look to the Lord for guidance as he leads our country so that when people look at the US they might be able to see a glimpse of Christ. I will say that I did not pay attention AT ALL to election stuff this year because I knew I had missed my chance to vote. I encourage you all to vote today and be thankful for this wonderful right we are given.

peace and love.

tears.

It has been a wet day here on Beautiful Gate's campus. Wet from the crazy thunderstorm last night and wet with tears. The tears were bittersweet this morning during the adoption ceremony for a 6 year old boy who has been at Beautiful Gate since he was an infant. Before the ceremony started the bo'me were coming in the chapel and they were waving at the boy and doing their little African scream thing when they saw him. As the boy saw them come in tears started to roll down his face. He quickly tried to hide it under his yellow "Lesotho" baseball cap. His new mother noticed right away and scooped him up to comfort him and talk him through it. She was perfect. The boy was 6 years old so he understood what was happening. He understood this would probably be the last time he saw the people at Beautiful Gate, the only place he has ever known. As we all saw the tears run down their eyes as they cuddled there together, pretty much everyone else in the room lost it too. Before the boy and his mother arrived we joked around about how the boy was probably going to be all over the room playing during the ceremony because he is one of those kids that "has ants in his pants" and can never stay still. But we were wrong. He stayed on his mother's lap through most of the ceremony. They had the boy come up with the house help ladies to sing his favorite Sesotho song with them. He couldn't get a word out to sing, but he clapped his hands furiously while trying to stop the tears from running down his face. That was probably one of the coolest things ever. Every person in that room loved that boy so much. Something you should also know about this boy is that when he got here and they took him to the hospital they were told he would never walk or talk. He ended up being the fastest runner of all the kids at Beautiful Gate and spoke the best English. He is a miracle. I am so thankful and blessed to have gotten to know him. The Lord has great things in store for him and his new family and he will be one that is always in my prayers. As my tears today were sad to see him go, they were also filled with joy beyond belief.

I also found out today that a girl I went to grade school with passed away. I am not sure what else to say about that. Those tears are out of grief and sadness. My prayers are with her family and she will be greatly missed.

peace and love.

firstfruits of all your crops.

I greet you in the name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! This past Friday a 7 person team from Graafschap CRC arrived at Beautiful Gate. They all seem like pretty cool people and its great to see their love and enthusiasm for Beautiful Gate.

This past Wednesday another child was able to meet his new mother for the first time. The exciting part for us is it is the first Michigan adoption from Beautiful Gate (I think...).The boy and mother have been waiting for about 2 years to meet each other! There was some complications along the way that slowed the process down a lot! Its also been hard on the boy because he is old enough to know what is going on and he would get confused when kids would come to Beautiful Gate after him but leave before him. The day before his mom was planned to come his house mothers let him know what was going to happening so he would be prepared. So, that day in school the boy told his teachers, "I will not be tomorrow, I go on a airo-plane to America!" Too precious. Seeing him on Wednesday interacting with his new mother and seeing the smile on his face brought me so much joy. The not so fun part of the day was seeing the boy's best friend at play group sitting by himself crying because he missed his friend. It broke my heart. There was nothing I could say or do to make him feel better, he just wanted his friend. By Friday he seemed back to his old self but I am sure he still misses him at times. This morning in church the boy and his new mother and sister walked into our church and sat in the row in front of us. He still had that big grin on his face. It was also to see how much him and his mother had already bonded. He turned around and gave us hugs and high fives and it brought tears to my eyes seeing him sitting on the lap of his mother whispering to her during church. This is the start of a whole new life for this boy. I am stoked that I get to see him one more time at the adoption ceremony before he leaves for Michigan. I know I probably talk a lot about kids leaving and getting adopted but its just probable the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced and I just love it.

Yesterday(Saturday) we took the team to Templhof. This was my second time going but this time they had lion cubs that we could hold! Here are a few pictures...

 This is Donna, the Australian volunteer I am sure I have talked about before :)

 still trying to convince my mom to let me take one home :)

 A boy and his Lion cub

JESUS RAYS!!

Oh hey, here is some more cool news. I am officially staying at BGate until the first week of March! I am sure this is what the Lord wants me to do but it is also hard thinking about being away from home during the holidays. That is when I am very thankful for skype :) Thanks for all of your prayers and support. I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for me over the next 5 months! I have also been applying for college lately....which just feels strange. I am still unsure of what the Lord wants me to with my life but I figure it is best to have some options open when I get home.

Here are some more things I have just been loving lately: I love that the weather is warming up. I love knowing 90% of the kids' names that go to play group. I love seeing little brown fingers giving my a thumbs up and brown eyes peeking through the shades when I am walking home at night. I love worshiping with my brothers and sisters in Christ on Sunday mornings. I love seeing the look on the parents' faces when they meet their child for the first time. I love working out with Anita in the afternoon (never thought I would say that :). I love this song: We Are by Kari Jobe and this song: Tell the World by Lecrae. I love getting to know the neighbor kids. I love laughing at just about anything with the Geurinks. I love little God moments that pop up throughout my day that remind me how much God loves me and these children. I love playing Euchre with the Geurinks and other missionaries. I love sitting and reading the Bible on my back step on a sunny day. I love that the staff have become my good friends. I LOVE THE LORD AND I LOVE LESOTHO.

I have found this verse to be a great reminder for me:

"Honor the Lord with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops, then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and you vats will brim over with new wine" -Proverbs 3:9-10

Giving the Lord my best, every time seems impossible to me at times. "But God I am tired...but God I am afraid....but God I will just do it tomorrow....but God that is only for super Christians, not for me....but God I will only give you the best in this part of my life, not that part." I have found it is a whole lot easier to make excuses then to actually do what the Bible tells us. Whenever I read a verse like this that challenges me and makes me check myself to see if I am really living it out I think back to Battle Creek Bible Club summer camp where we memorized the verse, "Do not merely listen to the word....do what it says." (James 1:22)
DO WHAT IT SAYS. Plain and simple, there it is. Just do what it says. Why do I always make it more complicated than it has to be? Just do what it says....

My aunt, uncle, and cousin are all in Uganda/Kenya right now on a 2 week mission trip so if you could keep them in your prayers that would be great :)

peace and love.

dancing.

Good Day Friends. This past week has probably been one of the best weeks ever. There were two volunteers that came early in the week. One just stayed for a week and the other is staying for two years. Amelie was here just for the week and we became fast friends. She volunteered at Beautiful Gate for 8 months a couple years ago. It was so great to share experiences and stories comparing our time at Beautiful Gate. Her love for the Lord was so evident and she really encouraged me to keep growing and seeking Him while I am here. We went on many adventures like taking the taxi into town with the Guerink girls and making dinner for everyone on our side of the house. She was also able to help me work through some of the things that are hard about being here since she has been here and knows exactly what it is like. I was sad to say goodbye to her but it sounds like she might be able to come back in December. Kristin came on Tuesday and she will be staying for 2 years. She will be helping Bryan in the office with fund raising stuff. She is also really cool and I am excited that won't be living by myself anymore.

On Tuesday we had an adoption ceremony for a girl from my house. It was emotional and beautiful and joyful. Before the ceremony the family was running a little late so we were all just waiting in the chapel for them. The bo'me started to sing and dance and before we knew it everyone was laughing. They even taught Anita and Amelie one of the dances. It was too funny to watch! Towards the end of the ceremony they brought some of the older kids into the chapel to watch the ceremony too. It was the first time that they had done that and I thought it was pretty cool that the girl got to see her friends one last time before she left for Sweden.

On Wednesday me and Amelie went on the monthly run to Baylor Clinic. It was another long day with a lot of waiting. After all the kids were done seeing the doctor we were all in the taxi in the parking lot waiting for the nurse to get done refilling the kids' medicines. A certain song plays on the radio and Beautiful Gate's driver turns up the volume way up and the bo'me start to one by one get out of the car and start dancing right there in the parking lot. We were all dying laughter watching them dance! Some of the older boys that were along joined in too and before you know it there was a party going on right outside the Beautiful Gate taxi in the middle of the parking lot. Can you imagine that happening in the states? What if you went to the hospital and in the parking lot you passed a bus with 4 middle aged ladies and 3 little boys all dancing and laughing like no one else is around. That just doesn't happen folks. What is even scarier to think about is...what if that was my mom dancing in the parking lot? Lets just say she should win mom of the year. haha. The joy these people have is contagious and no matter where they are they are always laughing and having a good time. I want to learn to be more like them. So in a few months if you see someone dancing in a random parking lot...its probably just me :)

Another girl from my house met her parents from Canada this week. Which means there is only 2 girls left in my house. CRAZY! But, its okay...I love my boys :) I got to meet the girl's parents and they were just too funny. They were nervous and excited as all new parents are. We were all shocked to hear that the whole adoption process only took a year and a half! That is so rare! After they met their new daughter it was precious to see the mother making comments about how she feels like she knows nothing about kids and the father taking notes on the things the house mother and nurse is telling him. The typical new parents stuff. I loved it. Seeing them with smiles on their faces walking out the door as a family of 3 for the first time is something I loved being able to witness. It just never gets old.

Okay so I am just going to tell a funny story now. Earlier this week I was sitting outside with the Guerinks and the other volunteers. The preschool is very near where our house is and there were kids playing outside that day. One of the Beautiful Gate kids was walking home from preschool when we heard one of his preschool classmates say, "Here is a stick, go beat the Chinese!" Now here is a little background. Young kids who probably don't get into town much call us Chinese when they see us. I am not exactly sure why either. You should also know that the Basotho people generally don't like Chinese people because they are the ones that run the factories and the ones that don't give them fair wages. So many of these kids probably hear their parents come home from working at the factory at night and complain about the Chinese people. Anita tried to go over there and explain to them that we are American and not Chinese, but since their English is limited they all just had a blank stare. Can you imagine your preschooler coming home from school and saying, "beat the Chinese"? We all had a good laugh over that one.

 precious little girls

 got some ice cream from Steers on our little adventure to the mall

 TEA TIME...nothing to do with this blog post but oh well

little brothers.... :)

peace and love.

expectations.

Happy Independence Day Lesotho! Well, actually it was like 2 days ago...but oh well. :) You may be wondering....did you do anything special for the holiday? Why yes, I did. I boiled lots of water so I could drink water without getting sick. I know, pretty exciting stuff. I am also pretty excited for next week Tuesday when another volunteer will be moving in. WOOHOO. It also sounds like there might be an adoption ceremony that same afternoon! I find it funny that she will get to experience her first adoption ceremony on her first day and I had to wait 2 and a half months to see my first one! haha. Funny how that all works. Earlier this week I went along on another hospital run which was.....frustrating. Let's just say we were there for 6 hours with only 2 kids. Yeaaaa...it was a long day. On the up side of things, the Australian couple that volunteers here at Beautiful Gate who left for 6 weeks to visit home is back! I had no idea when they were coming back so it was a wonderful surprise seeing them again.

This past week has been a bit stressful since there has been a limited amount of fuel coming into Lesotho. The truckers are unhappy about their wages in Johannesburg, South Africa which has resulted in riots. All of our fuel comes across the border from South Africa so the amount of trucks actually getting here have significantly decreased due to the riots. On Sunday there was no gas anywhere is Maseru pretty much. On Monday, a couple of our staff found a place on the other side of town to fill up most of the Beautiful Gate vehicles. Its a little scary thinking about not having fuel available when you have a hand full of HIV positive kids that need to get to the clinic once a month and groceries that need to be picked up. I am amazed by the staff and how they are able to so easily trust God with things like this and not let it keep them down or worried like I often am. We have been limiting the amount of runs we take into town, but we are thankful that we haven't run into any major issues or set backs with it so far and we keep praying that the riots will quiet down in Johannesburg.

Sometimes I like to think back before I got here and try to remember what I thought it would be like coming here. I usually end up laughing because it really wasn't what I expected at all. Some things are silly like, I didn't think their chocolate would be better than at home or I didn't expect to have a washing machine. I also thought that being here would somehow help me resist all sin and that I would just automatically feel closer to God all the time. That sounds so silly now.  I do feel close to God here but there are still tough days that He seems distant. The devil finds new ways to get in and make a mess of things, which often makes me angry. I didn't expect Beautiful Gate to be located in the middle of such a poor area. I didn't expect to feel so safe here. I didn't expect to make so many friends of all ages. I didn't expect I would have my heart broken so many times. I didn't expect I would feel this much joy. I didn't expect that I would walk away from every day with such a feeling of gratitude. Though some of the things I did not expect have taken time to work through, other things I did not expect have been the things I have loved most. Expectations are silly things.

I just want to thank you all again for praying for me in my decision to stay longer. You e-mails and words meant a lot to me. I will just tell you right now I am about 90% sure I will be staying until sometime in March it looks like. I have decided to make my final decision on the 15th of October so I guess things could change before then. I am still a little anxious for the holiday season and how that will go being away from home, but in the same breath I cannot wait to give these kids extra cuddles on Christmas Day!

I will leave you with a picture of another beautiful African sunset.....and a picture of me boiling water on the holiday :) haha

peace and love.